There you go. Deported from Australia. I have been so many times to the States without ever having any issue with immigration (except for the one time I’ve put all my meds in the same container and they thought it was a bit suspicious, but they let me in).

Do you guys have any idea how far is Brazil from Australia. It’s like the other side of the world. The quickest trip goes thru the South Pole. No, I couldn’t seen any Coca-Cola polar bear from the plane. I think I saw an iceberg, but that was all.

About 4 months prepping for that. I’ve managed to pay about 1,000 dollars for it. It was a Qantas promotion, so I bought it in advance, last november. So the only thing missing is a Visa. No problem so far. I already have an american visa, I’ve have a canadian one, I’m well traveled in south america and even been to Europe. I have my own company (two, actually) that supports me financially so I can travel without worrying about money. All good. I even bought a lot of aussie dollars from an ex-staff member from LimeTime, also got some American Dollars and even Euros that guests from the hostel ask to exchange.

A girl friend of mine dates another friend of mine that is from Australia (Hello, Jason and Roberta) recently went there and she told me they ask for a Yellow Fever Vaccination card. No where in the visa form this is mentioned. But anyway. I have been to Peru twice, and they also ask the same. I got my shot about 5 years ago, but I just don’t remember where it was kept. So I decided to call the Australian Visa Central or whatever they call it, that ironically is located in CANADA, and I ask about it. They told me that yes, its a requirement, but if I didn’t have it with me, they would ask me to sign a form saying I was responsible if something happened, yadda, yadda, yadda… Well, fine then…

Whomever follows me on Twitter or Facebook knows all about my preparation. All my friends dying to see such a good friend leaving for such a long time (just a freaking month).

Well, guess what? One of my hobbies is DJing! Yes, I mix dance music on night clubs so people can dance and have a good time, and so do I. I don’t do it for the money, but only because I like doing it. I have no intention of becoming Calvin Harris and go around the world on tour. (Hope it happens, lol) But I wouldn’t skip the chance of DJing in some parties in Oz. After all, most of the tunes I play comes from there (Hello, Bag Raiders).

So, one of my former guests at LimeTime just so happen to work for Modular People, the label for Bag Raiders, Van She, Muscles, and so on… And when there was a Smirnoff Night Life Exchange party here, he put me in contact with Tim Poulton, that works with him and is the booking agent for those bands. We become friends and he was looking for some parties for me to DJ. Not only him as all my friends there, since I have plenty that I’ve met thru the hostel.

And since I have more than 1800 friends on Facebook and I dont know exactly where all of them are from, I decided to create and event and invite all my friends, and they had the option to confirm if they were in Oz so we could meet up. On the event I decided to write “If you know any party promoters, help me by getting gigs. Im bringing my DJ stuff, and looking forward to party with you all! :)” It took a while for anybody to confirm me on any gig, so I was already kinda hopeless. Some friends told me about other promoters, clubs, etc, when finally Tim sent me a message to confirm a gig. So we exhanged this messages on Facebook:

“Hey mate,

 First set I have for you is April 29th in Sydney, will that work for you?”

To which I replied:

“Sure… Im leaving Syd on may 4th, so ill be there. Whats the name of the place?”

Notice that at any moment we mentioned money. For the same reason I mentioned above. I didn’t wanna do this for the money. If by any chance they offered me anything, I would probably spend it all on booze at the same place. But that was never my intention. All I wanted to do was to mix some electro with some brazilian music that the crowd would like, get the aussie girls worked up, and luckily get out of there with someone! :P

Now the drama begins. The flight was alright, pretty long, but good. I decided to not take any of my equipment, not even my laptop I took with me. Only took my Hard Drive cause I was planning to buy the new Macbook Pro there. Tom (not Tim) has a BCD 3000, the same I used to use before, so that would be enough for me. Not even my big DJ headphones I took with me. Only my In Ears that I’ve been using lately (Kudos to Laidback Luke).

So, going thru immigration, obviously they asked for the Yellow Fever Card. First Mistake. But I already knew what was going to happen. Or I thought so. I’ve been sent to another person that asked me to wait there. He came back and asked if I had a cell phone with me, cause I couldn’t keep it with me while there. So I gave him my iPhone. Suddenly the same guy comes back and asks me what I do for a living. I told him I have my own hostel in Sao paulo. He insists. I insist on the same answer. So he asks me what I was doing in Australia. Vacation, I say. He insists again, and asks if there was nothing else I was meant to do there. I told him no. ANd he says My facebook and twitter says otherwise. Boom… That’s when I got in trouble.

@garfolino Just got my first gig in Sydney! :)

Just after Tim mentioned the party, I posted that on my Twitter. The problem is that for me GIG is just a party to play. Apparently GIG is slang for WORK!

So they print this out along with this other tweet:

@limetimehostels Bebeto is off to Australia tomorrow! If you’re there, join the event! Le Garfs Invades Australia!

There, now they are all freaked out.

So it starts a series of interviews and questioning about my intentions there. I told them I have no reason to be working there, that I have my own company that supports me very well financially, told them how much money I make, how much money I took with me (they counted it with me), showed them my credit cards, told them how many friends I have there, and all… I told them DJing is just a hobby, that I have no intention of making money out of that, I just wanted to have a good time with my friends.

Then it comes to the second biggest problem. They found Tim’s number on my iPhone and called him. He didn’t know what was going on, so he told them details about the party that even I wasn’t aware of. He confirmed the gig, told them the venue and when they asked him if I was getting paid, he says Well, yes, we pay DJs 50 dollars per hour. That’s when everything went to crap. But he even said he didn’t know how he was going to pay me for that since I dont have an ABN. (I dont know what ABN is, im just assuming…) So, I couldn’t receive that money. Ok, Its Australia, not Brazil, so everything must be done correctly.

I insisted that I have no idea he was planning to pay me for that. That I never talked to him about money. So they asked me for my Facebook password, which I promptly gave to them, but they couldn’t access it since when you try to log on facebook from a different part of the world, they ask for a lot of confirmations, so it doesn’t get hacked. If they needed my help for that, Id be more than happy to help.

So, no deal. They asked me to give a last statement telling them whey they should not cancel my visa and let me stay.

So I told them all again. I was there as a tourist, and just so happens I’m a DJ, that yes I wanted to DJ in some parties with my friends, just as a hobby and for fun, and I have no intention to make money out of that, because I really didn’t need to be travelling there. For me, it’s just like bringing a guitar and play at the beach, is that work? No deal. They cancelled my visa. Apparently, DJ is a profession indeed in Australia (it’s not in Brazil, yet) and to DJ at parties means work for them, even thou you’re not getting paid for it. I even promised them that if that was the case, I wouldnt do it. In my mind all I was thinking was that if they let me in, I wouldnt get anywhere close to a DJ booth. Again, no way, Jose. 

Well, the airport was about to close and the only flight back to Brazil was on the next morning. I’ve managed to get out of the airport, scorted, of course, to an Immigration Detention Center. I forgot to mention that I lost my jacket on the boarding gate in Buenos Aires. So for me not be cold, they even gave me another hoodie to keep. I was never treated badly by any of them. Only when they gave me frozen chicken, that I obviously didn’t eat, so I was hungry until the next morning when we went back to the airport.

So that’s me, Brazilian, DJ, Hostel owner, detained (not arrested), in the middle of a bunch of chinese people and people from other places that were obviously there trying to get illegal jobs, just waiting to be sent back to my country. Good thing is that I got my own room, so I just laid down and slept.

6 am they knock on my door and wake me up. I got release from that area, and they took me back to the airport. The whole time I was hoping somebody would come and say that it was all a huge misunderstanding and overrated, and would apologize and let me in. Silly me. I got locked up a bit more there, until they put me into my flight. But at least, they were nice enough to go to McDonalds for me and buy me some food. At that point I was starving.

Well, here I am, back in Brazil. And I’ve learned a few lessons. Set your Twitter account to PRIVATE. If it wasn’t for that, they wouldn’t know anything. And always take all your documents when travelling. If I had tried harder I possibly would have found my yellow fever card. I bet if I look for it now I can find in less than 30 minutes. And third. DJ is a profession in Australia. Always deny that you can mix music together.

On the good side I didn’t spend any money in Australia, so I bought a new Nintendo Wii with Mario Kart for the hostel at the Free Shop in Argentina.

To know more about who I am, check out LimeTime’s Web site and my Soundcloud.

www.limetimehostels.com

www.soundcloud.com/garfolino

Poisé… Deportado da Australia. Eu que ja fui tantas vezes pros Estados Unidos sem ter nenhum problema sequer (exceto a vez que coloquei todos os meus remedios numa caixinha só e eles acharam meio suspeito, mas deixaram passar).

Voces sabem como a Australia eh longe ne? Tipo, do outro lado do mundo. A viagem pra ser mais rapida passa pelo Polo Sul. Nao, nao da pra ver nenhum ursinho da Coca-Cola do alto do aviao. Mas eu devo ter visto uma geleira, acho.

Uns quatro meses de preparacao. Consegui comprar uma passagem da Qantas pela bagatela de R$ 2000. Sim, Reais. Morram de inveja. E la vamos nos dar entrada no visto. Nenhum problema ai. Ja tenho visto americano, ja tive visto canadense, ja viajei pela America do Sul, ja fui para a Europa. Tenho minha propria empresa (alias, ate duas) que me da renda suficiente para viajar sem me preocupar com grana. Tudo comprovado. Comprei muitos dolares australianos de um ex-funcionario meu, e tambem juntei uns dolares americanos e euros de hospedes que pediram pra trocar. 

Porem, uma amiga que namora um outro amigo australiano foi pra la recentemente e me avisou que precisava da carteira de vacinacao da Febre Amarela. Em lugar nenhum do formulario de visto diz nada sobre isso. Mas tudo bem. Eu ja tinha ido ao Peru duas vezes e tive que tomar a vacina. Engracado que da primeira vez tive que mostrar a carteira, mas nao lembro de ter que mostrar da segunda, que foi recente, quando fui ver o Smashing Pumpkins tocar por la.

Bom, vamos tirar a prova ne? Ligo na Central de Vistos da Australia, que ironicamente fica no Canada, e pergunto sobre isso. O atendente me diz que sim, eh um requerimento, mas se nao levasse a carteirinha, eles te fariam assinar um termo de responsabilidade ou algo assim. OK…

Quem me segue no Twitter ou no Facebook sabe de todos meus preparativos. Todos os amigos morrendo de tristeza de me ver partir.

Porem, eis que um dos meus hobbies eh: SER DJ! Sim, eu mixo musicas dancantes na pista de clubes pras pessoas se divertirem, e eu tambem. Nao faco isso pela grana (Alo, promoters, isso nao significa que voces nao precisam me oferecer dinheiro), e sim porque eu gosto de fazer. Nao tenho a pretensao de ser um Database da vida e fazer turne nos EUA. (sucesso, meus filho!)

Mas tambem nao iria perder a oportunidade de tentar tocar em algumas festas na Australia. Afinal de contas, muito do que eu ouco e toco vem de la. 

Pois entao, um dos meus ex-hospedes no LimeTime por acaso trabalha pra Modular People, o selo do Bag Raiders, Van She, Muscles, entre outros… E quando teve a Smirnoff Night Life Exchange aqui eu conheci o Tim Poulton, que trabalha com ele e eh booking agent dos caras. O mesmo Tim ficou de me arrumar umas festinhas pra tocar. Nao soh ele como todos meus amigos da Australia, que tenho aos montes por causa do Hostel.

E como eu tambem tenho 1800 amigos no Facebook e nao sei exatamente de onde todos eles sao, criei um evento convidando todos eles a confirmarem se estivessem por la pra gente se encontrar. No evento aproveitei pra escrever “If you know any party promoters, help me by getting gigs. Im bringing my DJ stuff, and looking forward to party with you all! :)” (Pra quem nao le ingles, basicamente perguntei se alguem conhecesse alguem promoter pra me ajudar a arrumar festas pra tocar, seria legal. Disse que levaria tambem meu equipamento)

Eu ja nao estava muito esperancoso. Alguns amigos indicaram uns promoters, outros uns clubes, quando finalmente, my man Tim Poulton me confirmou para uma festa no fim do mes. Trocamos mensagens no Facebook:

“Hey mate,

 First set I have for you is April 29th in Sydney, will that work for you?”

E eu respondi:

“Sure… Im leaving Syd on may 4th, so ill be there. Whats the name of the place?”

(Basicamente ele disse que tinha fechado uma data pra mim, no dia 29, e eu avisei que soh ia embora dia 4 de maio, entao tudo bem.)

Veja que em momento algum nos tratamos de grana. Pelo mesmo motivo que eu ja disse la em cima. Nao faco isso pela grana. Se por acaso rolasse algo, eu provavelmente ia gastar em bebidas dentro do proprio local. Mas nao era essa a minha intencao. Eu soh queria tocar um pouco de electro misturado com funk carioca (DJ Chernobyl, you owe me BIG TIME), botar as australianas pra dancar e pagar um pau pra mim, e sair de la bem acompanhado :P

Agora começa a parte dramática. O voo foi tranquilo, longo, mais sossegado. Resolvi nao levar nenhum equipamento, nem meu laptop levei. Levei comigo meu HD, e ia comprar um novo por la. O Tom tem uma BCD 3000 igual a que eu tinha antes, entao ja resolvia meu problema, e o fone de ouvido que levei foi o In Ear que tenho usado ultimamente, ou seja, nem aqueles fones normais de DJ que chamam atencao eu levei.

Ao passar tranquilamente pela imigracao, obviamente foi dada falta da carteirinha de vacinacao da Febre Amarela. Primeira brecha. Eu ja sabia o que iria acontecer. Ele chamou um outro oficial de imigracao que me pediu pra esperar do lado de fora. Voltou e perguntou se eu tinha um celular comigo, e disse que eu nao poderia ficar com ele enquanto estivesse ali. Dei meu iPhone pra eles. De repente volta o cara e me pergunta o que eu faco da vida. Disse que tenho um Hostel em Sao Paulo. Ele insiste. Eu insisto na resposta. Ele pergunta o que eu fui fazer na Australia. Disse que estava de ferias. Ele insiste e pergunta se eu nao fui fazer nada alem disso. Eu disse que nao. E ele me diz: “O seu Twitter e Facebook dizem o contrario”. Boom, ai que a casa caiu.

@garfolino Just got my first gig in Sydney! :)

Logo que o Tim me comentou da festa, eu publiquei isso no meu Twitter. “Consegui a minha primeira gig em Sydney! Gig, para os leigos, eh o que musicos e DJs chamam uma festa pra tocar. O problema eh que Gig para eles eh giria para trabalho, tipo Trampo!

Agora que me dei conta que os caras sao mega hackers la. Esse tweet eh antigasso, e eles tinham uma folha com alguns tweets juntos, que nao deveriam estar juntos. Enfim. Alem desse eles trouxeram outro:

@limetimehostels Bebeto is off to Australia tomorrow! If you’re there, join the event! Le Garfs Invades Australia!

Le Garfs Invade a Australia! Pronto, ficaram todo bolados.

Ai comeca uma serie de entrevistas para eu me explicar etc etc… Eu disse que nao tinha razao alguma pra estar la a trabalho, que eu tenho minha empresa, que minha empresa me sustenta, falei quanto eu ganho, quanto de grana eu levei (eles contaram na minha frente), meus cartoes de credito, quantos amigos eu tenho por la, e tal. Expliquei que ser DJ eh hobby, que eu nao tenho intencao de ganhar nada com isso, soh queria me divertir com meus amigos.

O problema foi a segunda brecha. Acharam o telefone do Tim no meu celular e ligaram pra ele. Ele sem saber de nada foi dando os detalhes que NEM EU sabia. Disse que sim, tinha marcado uma festa pra eu tocar, que seria numa balada X (nem sei o nome), e que ele iria me pagar 50 dolares por hora. Boom, a casa nao soh caiu com o barranco deslizou. Ele mesmo falou pra imigracao que nao sabia como iria me pagar isso porque eu nao tenho um tal de ABN (que seria provavelmente o nosso CPF). Ou seja, eu nao poderia receber essa grana. É a Australia, os caras sao certinhos… 

Insisti que eu nao sabia de nada disso, que eu nunca tinha pedido grana e que a gente nunca tinha tocado nesse assunto. Eles pediram entao minha senha do Facebook, que eu prontamente dei, mas eles nao conseguiram acessar, porque o Face bloqueia quando o acesso eh de um lugar desconhecido. Se tivessem me avisado eu certamente deixaria eles entrarem pra esclarecer.

Enfim… Nada feito. Me pediram pra dar um ultimo depoimento dizendo porque eles deveriam me deixar entrar. 

Expliquei que minha intencao era apenas ser turista, que por acaso sou DJ, que queria sim tocar em algumas festas com os amigos, apenas por hobby e diversao, e que nao tinha o menor interesse em ganhar dinheiro com isso, pois eu realmente nao precisava disso pra estar ali viajando. Eh a mesma coisa que levar um violao e tocar na praia. Nada feito. Meu visto foi cancelado ali mesmo. Aparentemente DJ eh uma profissao de fato na Australia (coisa que no Brasil nao eh, estou correto?) e tocar em festa significa trabalho pra eles, mesmo que voce nao ganhe nada. Nao adiantou eu prometer que nao iria faze-lo. Ja era. Perdeu, Playboy!

Bom, o aeroporto ia fechar, e soh tinha voo de volta na manha seguinte. Consegui sair do aeroporto, escoltado, para um Centro de Detencao de Imigrantes. Esqueci de contar la atras que deixei meu casaco na sala de embarque em Buenos Aires. Pra eu nao passar frio me deram um moletom branco super bacana la. Em nenhum momento fui mal-tratado. Apenas quando me deram um frango congelado, que obviamente eu nao comi, entao fiquei com fome ate a manha seguinte, quando voltamos pro aeroporto.

Estou eu, brasileiro, DJ, dono de albergue, detido (nao fui preso ne?), com um monte de chines e gente de nacionalidades suspeitas, que obviamente estavam ali a trabalho ilegal, esperando para ser mandado de volta ao meu pais. Me deram um quarto soh meu, deitei e dormi.

As 6 da manha ja me acordaram, me liberaram, e me levaram pro aeroporto. O tempo todo eu vinha mentalizando que alguem ia achar aquilo tudo muito ridiculo, ia pedir perdao e me deixar entrar. Bobagem. Fiquei detido no aeroporto mais um pouco, ate me liberarem pro voo. Ate no McDonalds foram pra mim buscar um cafe da manha.

Bom, ca estou eu de volta. E aprendi algumas licoes. Deixe seu twitter pessoal PRIVADO. Nao fosse isso, eles nao teriam me xeretado. Leve sempre todos os seus documentos necessarios quando for viajar. Se eu tivesse me esforcado um pouquinho mais teria achado minha carteira de vacinacao e nao teria tido problema. (aposto que se eu procurar agora, acho em 30 minutos, pior, acho que agora sei exatamente onde está). E terceiro, DJ eh profissao na Australia. Negue de pe junto que voce sabe mixar musicas!

O lado bom foi que nao gastei dinheiro na Australia e aproveitei pra comprar um Wii com Mario Kart no Free Shop na Argentina.

Pra saber mais quem eu sou visite o site do hostel e meu soundcloud.

www.limetimehostels.com

www.soundcloud.com/garfolino